Thoughts on Balancing Traditional Expectations and Our Desires
Sammy Luc
June is coming to an end, and we just had our second Empower Hour of the year! The topic was about Balancing Traditional Expectations and Our Desires, a concept and idea that has been a battle that I’ve been fighting all my life. Expectations coming from my family have always been a pressure that followed me everywhere and affected the decisions that I chose and shaped who I am as a person. There were beautiful and powerful stories and experiences that were told during the session, and I’d love to acknowledge everyone who shared them.
Coming from a Chinese background, there have been a lot of expectations that have been placed on me as an Asian woman. We are expected to be the homemakers and have the duties to “take care” and nurture our family. From my experience, I’ve been told that I have to learn how to cook and do the laundry–and never once did I hear this same expectation from my brother. Listening and reading what our community was saying during the Empower Hour made me realize that this is a common occurrence and expectation of us. We are treated differently and have different expectations placed on us. My mother, who is the head of the household, does everything for my family. I value her and respect her very much–as she provided me with so much throughout my life. Watching her while growing up, I have observed her hard work which reflects the concept of filial piety. She works to give back to her family and does whatever she needs to do to support them no matter what. This is how I learned that it was also part of my duty to provide support and care to my family. Furthermore, I learned that I was expected to have kids–and was surprised to hear that perhaps children aren’t something that I desire. She tried to convince me and was telling me that wouldn’t my only-child significant other’s parents, more specifically his mother, want children? Not only that, I see the expectation for my family–especially my female cousins–being pressured by my grandmother to get married and have children. I often hear her question and ask when it is going to happen and who is going to get married first and settle down.
At first, I always felt like filial piety was something that I was obligated to follow since I was taught and learned from watching my own family. I always found it hard to speak up and go against my family’s wishes. This inner conflict made me think about my values and how it has built me as an individual. During the Empower Hour, turmoil and going against the flow don’t have to be the answer, and it has opened up how we can navigate through this struggle of identity and how we can balance between our desires and add to our identities.
This Empower Hour has truly provided a space where our community can be vulnerable, and I am both thankful and grateful for Radiance to be able to start and have these conversations.
Sign up for the next Radiance Empower Hour!
September 2024 Radiance Empower Hour
Tuesday, September 17, 2024
12 PM - 1 PM PT
Zoom - Register Below
Topic of the upcoming Radiance Empower Hour will be announced in the future.
The Empower Hour Series is open to women of Asian descent at all levels in the organizations.
Connect with us on LinkedIn.
Or if you’d like to email us, please email us at: hello@radiancehq.com